Love and Loathing in Stormwind

There I was, drifting around Stormwind in a love boat, a rather loose term I have to admit. Where are the padded hearts, the rugs and candles…. calling a row boat a love boat is a slight twisting of the words. All alone unfortunately and still seething from a particularly horrific battleground. An Arathi Basin in which I was likened to the Devil made flesh when I dared to suggest people might actually want to defend nodes rather than run around like headless chickens picnicking on the road. Other boats floated past loaded with happy hearts over head reinforcing my lack of online loved upness (annoying boyfriends who refuse to play WoW..grrr). So in order to distract myself my mind drifted towards the least romantic locations WoW has to offer. The last possible places you might want to hang out on Valentine’s Day. The darkest, dingiest not to mention the most depressing zones in Azeroth.

  • Silithus – Dust, sand and bugs. The home of possibly the worst attempt at creating a PvP zone ever created.
  • Icecrown – Cold, dark and full of the angry dead.
  • The Borean Tundra – apart from the odd cactus, it has nothing to recommend it. Why would anyone want to visit the only part of Azeroth in which you can catch swine flu…. definitely one to be avoided at all costs.
  • The parts of Durotar which aren’t the Echo Isles – Scorpids, dusty red earth and a big canyon to fall in. Back in Vanilla when world PvP wasn’t just rogue packs leaping from flying mounts and ganking lower levels or whole raid groups killing people outside instances, I used to fall in the ravine on a regular basis.
  • The Blasted Lands – Shame they weren’t blasted off the map entirely. More scorpids and a hideous red colour scheme.
  • Shadowmoon Valley – Dusty, dark and with obvious toxins spilling from the ground. All that neon yellow/green goo has to be an environmental disaster on a grand scale. Add to that the demons and scorpids and its a place to steer well clear off.

Ok, there might be a hint of theme running through that list. The loathing of scorpids was acquired when I was a little baby priest playing a class that couldn’t remove poisons and for some harder to explain reason, I’ve always hated that bright red/orange/tinged with purple colour scheme that Blizzard seem so fond of. Possibly because they always feel the need to fill it with scorpids… hmm. In fact the only Horde jousting pet I don’t have is… that stupid ugly Scorpid thing.

I wish they would leave the boats in when the holiday ends. Getting a boat’s perspective of Stormwind added something new to my appreciation of the city, something I really didn’t expect at this stage in the game.


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