For the Children.. Oh wait!

Children’s Week is perhaps the worst Azerothian festival ever to be devised. Instead of being about the Children, we spend the vast majority of our time with the little dears torturing them. Ok, we throw in a guided tour to make the pill a touch sweeter but think of the rest:

  • Some Orc killed your parents…. No problem ugly little human boy, I’ll take you to a Battleground or two. After all, its a hard knock life for you! Look that big scary green man over there, he’s an Orc… look at his huge fangs and wild eyes. He wants to eat you up, every last scrap of you. Better check under your bed tonight!
  • Bet the food in the Orphanage sucks… but we don’t want you to have dental problems so just watch as I eat this ice cream in front of you. You probably wouldn’t like it anyway, it’s mouth watering sweet. It’s strawberry too and everyone knows children don’t like fruit.
  • Abandonment issues…. tough, I need to hearthstone and I can’t carry you through the twisting nether so you’ll have to make your own way home. Don’t be late, we’re having delicious chocolate cake for tea and I’d hate to have to tell Matron that you’re a bad little boy.
  • Daily Chores… You think having to do homework or wash the dishes is boring? Wait til you’re grown-up and you need to do this stuff to pay the bills. I took my little angel jousting two days ago.. he hasn’t stopped crying yet.

Sure maybe Children’s Week is the crucible in which we ourselves were forged, but taking out our bitterness at our lot on the children is a cruelty even the Scourge would be proud of. Instead of skipping around Orgrimmar, Stormwind or Shattrah being children, we take them out in the dangerous world and show them death and destruction. Then when we return some terrified, beaten up children who will probably have nightmares for years, we get rewarded. How sick is that. We just proved we are totally unsuitable to look after anything alive and they give us a pet.

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